| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2019|04:19 pm] |
Friends Only. I update sporadically. Comment to be added :) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2010|02:32 pm] |
I just wrote an angry letter to my local newspaper about some throwaway comments made on climate change. I don't know how to feel about this. On the one hand I think that I'm being petty as whatever appears in Sussex Local is generally forgotten five seconds after you read it, and I would have been better off spending my time writing an angry letter to someone who matters (although I've already written to Gordon Brown today about the impossible hamster). On the other hand, the newspaper comes through everybody's letterbox and is therefore very widely read, and even seemingly inconsequential comments can contribute to the wide-spread apathy everyone seems to feel. ie, well, so what if if the NEF have just released a report on how growth isn't sustainable, my local paper which is written by local people I know and trust says climate change isn't happening and we can carry on with business-as-usual, so there.
I don't know. I probably just need to get laid or something.
Struggled through 50 pages of Ghost Written by David Mitchell today, as well as 25 pages of The Turn of the Screw by Henry James. Everyone talks about how David Mitchell is this fantastic virtuoso writer but I just can't see it. And it frustrates me that I can't see it because I know it's there, and I'm just not picking up on it. It's like those books of optical illusions you get, where if you stare long enough you can eventually make out some sort of picture. Usually I'm quite good at this, hence am a literature student, but at the moment it seems that my brane is not werking. I hate putting a book down and saying I haven't been able to get anything out of it.
Guy what I stalked has been on my mind a lot lately. I keep watching his videos over and over again. I think some of this is owing to being stuck here with no one to talk to much. I don't know what's going to happen over the summer - 4 months in Storrington and I'll be climbing the walls. Hopefully I'll be able to get some kind of job, paid or voluntary, that will keep me out of the house and stop me going (and driving everyone else) looloo. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2010|04:28 pm] |
Okay, I think I'm pretty sure that I will be going to Sussex next October. Transferring from Ox would be a total pain in the arse, plus I'd have to spend loads more money and get an even bigger debt mountain. I've been looking at the post-grad programmes on the Oxford website and thinking maybe that will be an option. If I get a 1st I'll be able to compete with people from awesome places like Bristol and so on. The only thing is that it means I won't be able to do post-grad on anything I haven't studied at Sussex (like Old English). But I'm pretty certain I'm not a medievalist or anything weird like that.
Today has been good. I am feeling all chillaxed and aaaah about life. I made lots of marmalade too, didn't even burn it. I've just started reading The Spirit Level. Happy times. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2010|12:57 pm] |
|
University dramaz finally ended. Firming Oxford, Insuring Sussex. Someone said to me the other day, 'You can always drop out of Oxford and go to Sussex, but you can't drop out of Sussex and go to Oxford'. This plus spending cuts made my decision for me. So no tarot cards necessary in the end. |
|
|
| more uni angst |
[Jan. 4th, 2010|09:25 pm] |
aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
I wish Oxford had rejected me. I have never had to make a decision as hard as this before.
No useful pros/cons list in this entry. I am just tired and stressed and feel like venting my spleen a bit. Mostly I just want to listen to Abba and cry. Psychology is doing my head in. The thought of having to learn Old English is doing my head in. The thought of telling everyone I'm turning down Oxford is doing my head in.
It is all doing my head in. So I am going to do what any rational individual would do in my place, i.e. go and get a tarot reading and follow the advice from that. Or maybe I will just flip a coin.
But now I am going to do this new year quiz that has been circulating round the internets.
( Read more... ) |
|
|
| Head being done in |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:32 pm] |
Problemz in my liiiiife
I have an offer from Oxford University and an offer from Sussex university. I am going to write a list of the pros and cons for each.
Oxford
Pros:
- One of the best universities in the world
- Awesome tutorial system which will make me really smart and increase my appreciation of literature
- Lots of nice clever people everywhere
- The college I have an offer from is v. pretty
- I can get a 2:1 and still compete with people from other universities who get firsts
- The college has many kitchens which means I will not have to eat crappy hall food
- It's far away from my parents
- If my sister's boyfriend does his masters there I will be able to live with them from my second year onwards free of charge (providing they stay together, here's hoping)
- Will get a nice clever hard-working boyfriend
Cons:
- Work. Constant. All the time. An essay every week. Six exams at the end of each year to make my head explode.
- No time for climate change activism/other political shenanigans/assuaging of guilt complex and generally being a good person
- Oxford is not a very exciting city
- When I went to the interviews all the other applicants seemed kind of douchey
- Hard work may kill my love for literature
- Far away from parents and other relatives (some of whom are v. old and may die soon)
- I love Brighton and don't want to leave it
- Less likely to get a nice green activist boyfriend (which I would prefer to a nice hard-working boyfriend because we would argue less about moral issues etc. and he would not make me learn to drive or fly in a plane)
- The terms are really short which will mean I'll have to be at home lots
- Old English. 'nuff said
- Not allowed to get a job while studying (wouldn't have time anyway)
- I will never be able to read 'The Grapes of Wrath' ever again
- Can't get a proper cup of tea anywhere in Oxford (this may also go on the pros list as it means I will not be spending all my student loan in tea shops)
- Difficult to live outside the college due to lack of job - loss of independence etc.
- It's not like I can just have bookish fun at Oxford for three years and then go back to climate activism - the next three years are crucial. I feel like it's my moral responsibility to fight as hard as I can for climate justice (since our useless world leaders are clearly only interested in unsustainable growth and profit at all costs). There isn't much time left. Even if all my efforts are futile I want to be able to tell my children (adopted, ofc) that I was not a complete hypocrite.
See, if I had my way I would be doing a degree in Environmental Science or Politics, Philosophy and Economics or something. English is pretty useless (unless you count ecocritcism and all those save-the-whales poems as a relevant call-to-arms) but unfortunately I am too stupid to do anything else. Hate my brain, why couldn't I be good at Maths?
Sussex
Pros:
- Awesome course, none of this Old English crap
- Much less intensive so no stress ulcers
- Loads of time for climate activism/assuaging of guilt complex
- Close to home so get to see parents and relatives often
- Brighton is the world's most awesome city and my spiritual home, I would love to live there and intend to do so one day even if I do decide on Oxford
- Lots of lovely poetry events in Brighton for me to go to, plus all my poetry chums will wonder where I've gone if I bugger off to Oxford
- Majority of assessment done through coursework which is good 'cos don't like exams that much
- Actual campus is in Falmer so will be like living in the countryside with lots of nice green hills and stuff
- guaranteed self-catering (and there is an ethical grocery onsite)
- Allowed to have jobs and student accomodation in second year is not an option, so it's a lot more independent that Oxford
- Many ethical shops in Brighton for when consumption is unavoidable
- I can always go to Oxford for post-grad
- Sussex is a lot more fun - I am not interested in clubbing but I will be more likely to meet other like-minded people (eg. crusties, Greens, hippies etc.)
- At least five tea shops in Brighton that serve proper tea in proper tea cups
- Will get a nice beardy ethical boyfriend who does shouty performance poetry and won't complain when I ask him to get me recycled toilet paper for Christmas
- General Beard content higher than Oxford
- I will be able to read 'The Grapes of Wrath' without wanting to kill myself and everyone else on this godforsaken planet
- Possibly cheaper than Ox
Cons:
- Not Oxford. Nowhere near as prestigious.
- Pretty low on the league tables - number 40 as opposed to Oxford at number 1
- Will need to get a first in order to go on to post-grad/compete with others for employment (whereas if I go to Ox then I can just walk into any job I like practically)
- Maybe a bit too close to my parents, they would be ringing me up every week to ask me to come home and empty the dishwasher or something
- Nowhere near as intellectually rigourous as Oxford
- Have a feeling I will just be going there in order to stay in my comfort zone.
- I will probably spend the next three years going 'Oh hi I got an offer from Oxford but I turned it down to come here because I'm just so cool like' or 'Hmm, what if I'd gone to Oxford?' both would be annoying to myself and others
- Everyone will think I am mad if I turn down Oxford for Sussex
- If I turn out to be a big flake in terms of political committment and just spend my whole three years pootling about and getting drunk on the beach I will feel really bad.
Okay. Obviously Oxford loses in terms of having more cons that pros. But it's OXFORD. THIS IS SUCH A DIFFICULT DECISION.
Maybe I will just leave it up to fate and hope I don't get the grades for Oxford in the end. |
|
|
